Week of December 23, 2009

Be un- shy, rams, as you enter the temple of family. Remember that you're also in the home of good times and open communication. Play and also sing along to their tune while you teach them your own.

Aries of the Week: Odysseus' return home from the Trojan war

May you welcome the truth into your heart, bulls. After that, I wish you great luck in speaking and also showing it. Your outward expression can level the playing field as well as it cures all "blues".

Taurus of the Week: Spanish Socialist worker's party

Maintain your eagle eyed dispostion, twins. This week you'll be needing to pay attention to what detail it is known to detect. Such precise vision will free you and everyone else from the grips of un- necessary chains, once and for all.

Gemini of the Week: Barry Manilow

This week you will discover what devils you've been seeking. Say your goodbyes. You have known each other for long enough. Say your last farewell and don't look back. There is an awesomeness ahead which is ready to take its place, glittering and sparkling with GREATNEssssssssss.

Cancer of the Week: Salvation Army

Let the fire in your heart all the way out, wildcats. Don't keep track of what its doing. Let it lead the way, and most importantly, don't give up. Eventually you will make light of what is dark, turn water into wine, lead into gold, etc., etc.

Leo of the Week: Pablo Sandaval

Roll along. Forget what you know for the time being, and just be the good person that you are. It's never too late to try something new. Don't be concerned with how cliche that is. Just take it's familiar advice. See things from a new pair of lens, better still wear someone else's glasses for a healthy change.

Virgo of the Week: Elia Kazan

In "Avatar", the blue princess reminds the earthling that mother nature does not take sides but rather is only there to protect the balance of all things. This week, you will discover that there is little difference! So after making your best efforts at organization, say your prayers and just turn off the light. The verdict will soon be out!

Libra of the Week: Black Panther's Party

Check in with you, scorp. Also be aware of who/what is tapping you on the shoulder. Stay as present as possible, remaining close to the moment as well as your surroundings. Gracefully, take notes of what situations you are in, why, and how come? THEN=check out all the assistance available to you- a reward for all the amazing deeds you did this year.

Scorpio of the Week: Johann Von Beethoven

Don't you just wish you knew the story? Well you can! Try listening, without interrupting! All jokes aside, archer, the universe WANTS to spill its guts to you. So just give it an honest chance to take off its clothes and reveal its sexy self to you, its breasts bouncing with anticipation.

Sagitarius of the Week: Bill of Rights

Come clean, goats. Everyone is just begging you to share a little of what you know. Throw us a bone! Bestow- oh righteous one- your most totally glorious knowledge please please pretty please with the sugar on top???????

Capricorn of the Week: League of Nations

ATTN water bearers. Full vision is about to be attained. While you prepare yourself for such victory, remain flexible. To digest the monstrosity of all the swelling sights, keep a loose heart, letting what comes in go just as easily back out, maintaining constant space for a steady stream of info intoxicating enough to (thankfully) blow up your whole universe.

Aquarius of the Week: Chris Parnell

Stick to your gills. Follow your OWN footsteps. If no one has shown up yet, thats because you beat them to it! Anyway, don't count the miles so much as ride them, you dig? It's more fun to just take it all as it comes. Someone as especially groovy as yourself will soon arrive to greet you.

Pisces of the Week: Legoland