HOROSCOPES

Week of August 26, 2009

ARIES
Why put it off rams? Confront the moment, which, with arms spread so wide open, will feel more like hugging and kissing it than anything else. It's clear that a welcoming position is the only posture that will satisfy your current urges. SO: Beat not around that bush that's been irritating you. Prove that such obstacles may melt in the positivity of your full embrace.

Aries of the Week: Jaymay

TAURUS
Consider what statment you wish to make. Meditate on the specifics, including your vision for now as well as the future. Acknowledge your audience, noticing in particular the newer faces. What are their questions and concerns? Take what time you need to comprehend those ideas, doing your best to integrate greener concepts with iron tradition.

Taurus of the Week: Jessica Alba

GEMINI
You're so hip, it's hard to concentrate in your presence. As you lead us to an exciting climax, don your most distinguished, constructive, ostentatious, ethereal garb. Move in and out of the scene at your leisure, like a shape-shifter wizard cat stealthily spinning some slick and solid wonder-web, shining and sturdy enough to continuously capture our undivided attention.

Gemini of the Week: Yasmine Bleeth

CANCER
I see you coming down the road, cancer. I can tell that's you by: the way you swing your hips from side to side, the width of your grin, the boyish bounce in your step, the loving look in your eyes. I'm elated to re-make your familiarly adorable yet newly sophisticated acquaintance.

Cancer of the Week: Vera Wang

LEO
Can you be as diplomatic as you are wild, beast? Is it possible for you to unveil your most loaded truths while still remaining close friends or acquaintances with everyone at the party? Sure. I believe you type of cats can have a total ball by at least wrestling with such a unique challenge...

Leo of the Week: ERIS aka the largest known dwarf planet

VIRGO
Run through mini-malls in your underclothes. Carry a water-gun with you at all times. Cover your body in press on tattooes. Collect butterflies of all sizes, shapes, and colors. Hold a modern day cotillion in your home. Hire a mariachi band to come and play at it. Pour your guests drinks until their cups overflow with uncontainable joy and festivity.

Virgo of the Week: Bizzy Bone

LIBRA
You're iressitible these days, scales. It's like you're being followed by some severely divine light, so strict that the crowds are disoriented by its charms. Use it to your advantage scales. Put it on a huger canvas / announce it from a hi-def speaker. Magnify those powers. That way the effect can be widerspread, maximing the potential of its gifts.

Libra of the Week: Nintendo

SCORPIO
Abandon pity, for the time being. Regard another option- of filling your time with what I call "creative concocting"- a hodge podge of liberal, ingeneous, mind-bending, heart slashing endeavors, which sometimes lead to a change in behavior patterns, are known to facilitate inventiveness as well as to enhance a confidence needed to effect outstanding change.

Scorpio of the Week: Lee Strasberg

SAGITARIUS
Part ONE: Avoid words like "instant", and phrases like "right now." Part two: Instead of weaseling about, stand perfectly still. Part three: Go on a cultural diet, at least reducing if not eliminating altogether your intake of certain junk foods. For example- juvenile competitors, gossipy neighbors and nightly "news."

Sagitarius of the Week: Howard Koch

CAPRICORN
Put some muscle into your platform, goats. Push your agenda, slowly, surely, but this time revealing more of the hidden confines of your passion. Think of this: If everyone could integrate even a smidgeon of your higher standard, they'd all sleep a little better, fly a LOT higher and without any dangerous interruption.

Capricorn of the Week: Jim O'Rourke

AQUARIUS
I hate to burst your bubble, but...I wanted to play with you so bad I had to do it. It's such a waste for you to be confined like that. I was so sure of it that I rudely interfered. Pardon my abrasive intrusion. But now that you're here, why not drop some of your style/knowledge on us? ( I promise to protect your borders while you let fully loose. )

Aquarius of the Week: the first ski Lift

PISCES
There's just that one last tiny corner of your heart that you're prudently keeping separate from all else. Ironically, even though it's seemingly the most insignificant bit, it also happens to be the most crucial to coming up with the right solution. Besides being sentimental, this portion is also omniscent, mobile, forgiving, and resilient. It is therefore KEY.

Pisces of the Week: Michael Bland