HOROSCOPES

Week of April 24, 2008

ARIES
When you are in the presence of what you love, take a bow. To become one with your desire, just remain willing to follow it, travel with it, pursue it blindly, make any changes required, et al. Be ready to meet your beloved halfway, arms out-stretched. Assume your warrior stance only to guard and protect what is sacred.

Aries of the Week******"Jeopardy"

TAURUS
There's nowhere to run OR hide, bulls. Great news! As you enter the crowds with your sparkling vibe, they're going to want to rip your clothes off, it feels so good. Let them. Be open to the attack. It will awaken your spirit as well as bring you directly into the light, which brings your beauty to the surface, where it can best be viewed/ imbibed.

Taurus of the Week******Cesar Millan, i.e. the dog whisperer

GEMINI
Dear Gemini: I don't need you to save me! Instead I choose your own freedom/expression! I have made a stage for you to dance on, a platform where no one can stand in your way! A space where you can fully enjoy your style. I'll keep the crowds from bothering you while you get super-freaky. Wink-wink. Love, Mama earth.

Gemini of the Week******Outkast

CANCER
Nothing can stop you now, crabs. Even if you have to side shimmy in order to pursue the heart's path, don't sweat it. You've done the hard part already by locating it's specific rhythm. Now just ride that live wire. Let the freak come up out of you. It will produce flight...

Cancer of the Week******Czeslaw Milosz

LEO
The masquerade is over! Now the real magic can begin! To ensure your trip, continue to trade all mini-battles for the larger struggle. You have an adequate amount of personal authority, just the right attitude towards risk-taking, enough understanding of the greater context, and a sense of humor powerful enough to conquer all fear, which is the only thing keeping you from a fresh existence.

Leo of the Week******Bugs Bunny

VIRGO
To restore your power, you'll have to employ methods which are extra: tricky, creative, sleuthing, unconventional, supernatural, and/or intricate. Once you've concocted the perfect recipe, insert your dogma. Nurture your own fire by way of pure discipline.

Virgo of the Week******John Dillon

LIBRA
Doubt, be gone! Throw it out the door, over the cliff, etc. The less of this you got, the greater the chance for a true love affair. Remove the protective sheath, please. Assume that romance is embedded everywhere. Look for its footprints, listen close for its melody, reach out for it's hand...

Libra of the Week******Aleister Crowley

SCORPIO
BTW:There is nothing separating you from your power. You hold it, (somewhere) in there. Practice accessing and unleashing it this week by way of your hands, mouth, feet, etc.. It may feel deadly on the way out, but I promise that whatever it touches, wounds shall be healed, energy shall once more flow, life shall be restored.

Scorpio of the Week******John Addams

SAGITARIUS
In the show, WEEDS, Mary Louise Parker's partners inform her that "Thug" means never having to say you're sorry. I agree. But to take it one step further, I also believe that true gangster love is learning when apology is a necessary means of peace-makning. Decide what you should do in the name of true brother and sister hood this week. Keep the "greater" goal in mind.

Sagitarius of the Week******Nobel prize

CAPRICORN
To celebrate earth day this week, I decided to honor my natural inclinations. So I spent a large part of the week: drinking with my friends until the sun came up, dancing (nearly) naked on my rooftop, screaming on the top of my lungs for no good reason and feeding myself lots of (almost) raw meat. I had a similar vision of you, rowdy and sensual, a representation of the earth itself, in its most crude form.

Capricorn of the Week******FM radio

AQUARIUS
You are once more in a position to simply outsmart everyone else. I predict that to achieve your victory, you'll have to be as successful in your construction of a plan as you are in carrying it through. Compose your poetry. Then prepare for a graceful and dramatic delivery.

Aquarius of the Week******Kansas

PISCES
Last week there was a silent rave at Union Square in NYC. Everyone was jamming out with their headphones on, together but separate. It reminded me of you, constantly rocking out in your own world. I look forward to the day when you share with us all what exactly goes on in there. As you shake, shimmy, waltz, and groove, we are totally moved and delighted.

Pisces of the Week******Sly Stone